JAY: All right, my first guest, a good friend of the show, five time Emmy-nominated actor who can be seen every week on the hugely popular series, "ER." The show has its big season premiere tomorrow night at 10...I wonder if there'll be an explosion. Please welcome, the boyishly handsome Noah Wyle!

 

[THE BAND PLAYS "ER" THEME, NOAH WALKS OUT, SHAKES JAY'S HAND, THEY HUG, JAY SAYS SOMETHING LIKE, "GOOD, GOOD, YOU'RE SUPPORTING THE STRIKE" ABOUT THE RIBBON NOAH'S WEARING, CROWD CHEERS, NOAH SITS]

 

JAY: Good to see you again!

 

NOAH: Nice to see you too, jay.

 

JAY: How's everything? Okay?

 

NOAH: Yeah, good, good. It's been a long, long day, good day.

 

JAY: Yeah, you also have the big premiere tomorrow, is there an explosion of some sort?

 

NOAH: Oh, there's always an explosion of some sort, isn't there?

 

[BOTH LAUGH]

 

NOAH: I find that sweeps week, and uh, the first episode, and the last episode, and the other sweeps week--

 

JAY: Trouble? Do you have trouble on the set? Are there, do you have accidents when you do these things?

 

NOAH: Well, we actually, we shot an explosion today--

 

JAY: Really? Now what happened today?

 

NOAH: [CONTINUING] Today there was an explosion, and uh [LAUGHS] I uh, [PAUSE] you don't want to go to this hospital, [LAUGHS] let me tell ya.

 

JAY: Yeah, it seems like a lot of--

 

NOAH: We've had gun battles, fires, floods and locust. Anyway, today, there's an explosion, I'm supposed to, uh, kick in this door and pick up the lovely and talented Maura Tierney and carry her through the, uh, emergency room, [PAUSE] and uh, my foot caught on fire, 'cause they lit the door on fire, so when I kicked it, I got a little flame on my shoe.

 

JAY: Wow, so you had flaming shoes. Wow--

 

NOAH: Nothing dangerous. I didn't even notice until after the take was over, that's what a pro am I.

 

JAY: That's a real man, isn't it?

 

NOAH: But, uh--

 

[APPLAUSE]

 

JAY: So well, you basically [PAUSE] basically, you laugh at death.

 

NOAH: I do laugh at death. [LAUGHS]

 

JAY: Is this the first time you've gotten burned while working?

 

NOAH: No, it's actually my third time I've been burned while working. Yeah, uh.

 

JAY: You did the Michael Jackson video where your hair caught on fire, I remember that.

 

NOAH: [LAUGHS] That was me.

 

[BOTH LAUGH]

 

NOAH: First, the first movie I ever did, I got uh, there's a scene where in an act of defiance I take my, my father's love letters to his mistress and burn them, and they wanted to have them float through the air burning, so I could stare at them, and they couldn't figure out how to do that. So they get one of those really big fans, and they dumped all the letters on top of them, lit them on fire and then kind of pointed it up at me. and I stood there and watched this wall of fire come right at me. [LAUGHS] [NOTE: The movie he is talking about here is "Crooked Hearts"]

 

JAY: Low budget picture, I'm guessing?

 

NOAH: Yeah.

 

JAY: Yeah, yeah. [LAUGHS]

 

NOAH: Then like month later, I booked my second job, and there's a scene where in a great act of defiance, I burn the, uh, statue outside my high school. And they coated it in a coat of rubber cement, which is highly flammable. And then some guy went to the bathroom, so it dried and they put another coat on and then something else happened, they put another coat--they made this thing like a bomb, they put five coats of rubber cement on. And I lit this thing and this thing exploded all over me. [LAUGHS] And two stunt men had to put me out, so I'm an old hand at this. [NOTE: The movie mentioned is "There Goes My Baby"]

 

JAY: What kind of genius sets a statue on fire? I mean--

 

NOAH: Like I said, it was a misguided attempt at defiance--

 

JAY: [WHILE NOAH'S SPEAKING] Sitting there, trying to light cement...

 

NOAH: [CONTINUING] It was a mode of protest, anti-establishment.

 

JAY: Now you're a political guy, you're gonna watch the debates tonight?

 

NOAH: Absolutely.

 

JAY: Do you follow this thing?

 

NOAH: I've been watching the debates, [PAUSE] very, very intensely. Yeah.

 

JAY: I'll put you on the spot. Who ya got? Who ya gonna vote for?

 

NOAH: Ah, my candidate wasn't allowed to debate.

 

JAY: Ooh.

 

NOAH: My candidate, uh--

 

JAY: Pat Buchanan?

 

NOAH: [LAUGHS] Yeah, exactly. [LAUGHS] No, no [PAUSE] No, uh, I like Ralph Nader, I've always liked Ralph Nader.

 

JAY: Oh, you like Ralph Nader.

 

NOAH: I think he's an American hero.

 

JAY: Oh okay, now--

 

[APPLAUSE]

 

JAY: Now what is it you like about him? You see, I always find, it's my theory that people like these people until, they, you find out more and more and then--like what is it you like?

 

NOAH: You see, I think the opposite is true with Ralph Nader. I think he's been intentionally made out to seem like much more of crackpot than, uh, the other candidates, because, uh, he threatens in a lot of people, and every time I hear him speak, he brings up exactly the issues that nobody else is talking about.

 

JAY: Yeah. Well see, I have a theory--like how about John McCain? What do you think about him?

 

NOAH: John McCain [PAUSE] I, I appreciated the straight talk format, I think he was a far better candidate than Bush, between you and me.

 

JAY: Now, you see, you see, but see, this is interesting, seems to me, I find that Americans will almost vote for anybody, if they think that person believes in something. Like McCain, if you went down the issues, I don't know if I agree with him. Well, I liked him 'cause he believed it. Same thing with Nader. Like to me, Nader [BABBLES ABOUT A SAFETY CLIP ON A PEN], it would drive you batty, but at least he believes it.

 

NOAH: [PAUSE] Okay.

 

[LAUGHTER]

 

JAY: Like what's his foreign policy? Does he have a foreign policy?

 

NOAH: I heard him interviewed the other night and there was a television pundit that was being very condescending to him and said "Ralph, how do you possibly think that you'll be able to, uh, work with all the various government agencies that you find in Washington?" and his response was, "I can't think of anybody who's sued more of them." And that's the truth. I mean, this guy, for you and me and everybody has been out there, made a life of public service. That's who I want representing me, not some, not a President's son, not a senator's son

 

JAY: But it looks, it looks--

 

NOAH: But, somebody, who's, you know--

 

JAY: Yeah.

 

NOAH: Got our best interest at heart.

 

JAY: He's gonna have a tough, tough time.

 

NOAH: Well, I'm, you know--I voting my conscience this year [MUMBLES] whether or not I think it'll be effective is another thing.

 

JAY: Well, do you watch your conscience? Do you watch the NBC shows, the other NBC programs? Have you been loyal?

 

NOAH: Yeah, I try to stay as loyal to the network as I can.

 

JAY: Have you seen any of the new, uh--?

 

NOAH: I watched, guiltily, the premiere of "Titans" the other night.

 

JAY: "Titans." No, it's [STICKS OUT CHEST] "Titans."

 

NOAH: "Titans." [LAUGHS] Is that how it's pronounced?

 

JAY: Remember, there's a T-I-T, it's [POINTS TO CHEST] "Titans." Remember how it's spelled.

[LAUGHTER]

 

JAY: I Mean, all the women are doing [STICKS OUT CHEST] this in "Titans."

 

NOAH: That's true, but the great thing about that show is just the exposition that comes out of every character's mouth to introduce them. It's, like, uh, "Well, if it isn't my younger brother, just flown back from desert storm after dropping bombs on Iraqis...Well, if it isn't my older brother who stayed home to run the family fortune business and marry my high school sweetheart...How is the old man? Is he still raping the colony?" You know.

 

[BOTH LAUGH]

 

JAY: Or "My friend, Leslie, the little slut who came back..."–Yeah! Then they do that--

 

NOAH: Long, long paragraphs and you go, "Oh, so that's who that is. Oh, okay, I got it now."

 

JAY: Now you were here, what, what did you tell me in the dressing room, you started to tell me something...oh, you came here for a meeting, a big NBC meeting with the executives--

 

NOAH: I was here last week--when I first used to, I, seven years ago when the show first started, I'd walk through the halls of NBC like royalty. I mean there were shrines burning to "ER." Now, I walk through the halls, and it's, I see posters for "Ed," for "West Wing," for "Law & Order," then you see them for like "L.A. law," "Hill Street Blues," and "Chico and the Man," which wasn't even an NBC show and I'm looking around for some semblance of an "ER" poster and way in the back of the halls, by the broom closet, there's a "Friends" poster and an "ER" poster. And I saw that is [pause] it's frightening.

 

JAY: It's seven, is it really seven years now?

 

NOAH: I'm getting into movies.

 

JAY: Oh yeah, you, you, like doing movies, is it more fun?

 

NOAH: Well, I love the people I work with everyday. And by the way, when I said I got lit on fire, I want to say that, Scotty Forbes, our special effects guy, is the best.

 

JAY: At lighting other people on fire?

 

NOAH: Yeah, no, no, no, he's, they're very safety conscious and I wouldn't want to put his job in danger in any way.

 

JAY: Now--

 

NOAH: [PAUSE] Uh, what were we talking about?

 

JAY: I love he's trying to rethink--I like that he's trying to back out of it now, "Oh no, who's gonna sue me?"

 

NOAH: Well, you said, [INAUDIBLE] I gotta go to work tomorrow, don't I? I gotta see these guys.

 

[JAY SAYS SOMETHING INAUDIBLE ABOUT SCOTTY, PROBABLY IMITATING A CONVERSATION...]

 

JAY: Now, the premiere is tomorrow night.

 

NOAH: The premiere is tomorrow night. We've got some really good shows coming up, a lot of, uh, twists and turns.

 

JAY: I am I giving anything away? Isn't your character in rehab or something?

 

NOAH: Yes he is, he, uh, at the end of last season, was, uh, an intervention was pulled on him and he was sent off to a detox treatment center in Atlanta, Georgia, [INAUDIBLE].

 

JAY: Is that, is that this scene we're gonna see?

 

NOAH: I believe this is me checking into the detox center in Atlanta, Georgia.

 

JAY: If you look closely, you'll see his right foot is on fire.

 

[TV MONITOR POPS UP, PLAYS CATER-BENTON SCENE FROM THE BEGINNING OF "HOMECOMING"]

[APPLAUSE]

 

JAY: Ooh, wow, very serious.

 

NOAH: Very serious.

 

JAY: very serious.

 

 

NOAH: Very serious.

 

JAY: Do you try crack each other up on those kind of scenes?

 

NOAH: Oh, absolutely.

 

JAY: You just whispered, what did you whisper to me during that scene?

 

NOAH: "Kiss me, Eriq."

 

JAY: "Kiss me, Eriq."

 

[BOTH LAUGH]

 

JAY: Do you guys tell jokes?

 

NOAH: We do, Eriq and I, we've been friends from the get-go. We try and bust each other up all the time.

 

JAY: Have you got a joke? Have you got one?

 

NOAH: I Heard a pretty good joke the other day. Um, guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing saran wrap underwear. Psychiatrist looks at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts." [NOTE: Or "you're"...depending on how you want to see it ;)]

 

[LAUGHTER, DRUM MAKES THAT BAH-DAH SOUND, LOTS OF APPLAUSE]

 

JAY: Whattya know ladies and gentleman, and his mom is here tonight too. Noah Wyle, ladies and gentleman. Thank you, Noah. Be right back with Chyna, right after this.